Lost Boys: Adolescence, Incels and Breaking the Cycle

Netflix’s hot-off-the-press series Adolescence has made history as one of the first streaming shows to reach the top of the UK television rankings. It is a gruelling tale that follows the life of young boy Jamie, who stabs a girl to death in a parking lot late one night. The plot is undeniably dreary, you can’t really avoid that. But it isn’t turgid. It is a masterclass in capturing the intricacies and nuance of a devastating situation, and approaches a complex subject matter with a refreshing dose of sensitivity - something I feel is missing in a lot of discourse around social issues as of late. At its core, this series aims to ask why, rather than point any fingers of blame. It is thought-provoking and conversation-starting, and it has made me wonder what we can all be doing to help curb the disturbing increase of radicalised young people and more specifically, men.

Jamie is a thirteen-year-old boy, who we later realise has been radicalised online into believing he is ugly and unworthy of romantic love. The most intrusive and destructive aspect of his belief system is the feeling that his unworthiness is unchangeable. To him, it is written in his DNA and totally out of his control. This worldview is popular on incel forums, and has been called ‘taking the black pill’. This is a metaphor for buying into the fatalistic philosophy that factors like appearance and genetics determine whether a man is inferior or superior, and whether they will receive attention from women in society. Incels believe they are inferior because they have not had romantic relations with women and blame them. They believe women are shallow and only attracted to a very narrow percentage of exceptionally good-looking men. After Jamie ‘takes the black pill’, he sees that his only options are to accept his life of despair, or to ‘change’ his situation through violent means. In this instance, he murders his fellow classmate Katie. While Adolescence is a fictional story, this is a pipeline some young men seem to be in at the moment. Atrocities such as the murder of five people by Jake Davidson in the UK three years ago, have occurred due to this kind of radicalisation. 

But why is black pill thinking so insidious? A lot of it echoes the malicious teachings of eugenics - a pseudoscience that bases its agenda around some humans being ‘genetically superior’ and others being the opposite. One of the many poisons of eugenics, and now black pill thinking, is that it weaponises science or theory to draw false conclusions. We see this in the ‘80/20 rule’ mentioned multiple times throughout the series. Incels use this rule to claim that 80% of women are attracted to the ‘top’ 20% of men. What is important to note is that the 80/20 rule has its roots in a legitimate economic theory known as the Pareto Principle. Developed by economist Vilfredo Pareto in the 20th century through extensive research, the Pareto Principle refers to a general pattern: 80% of consequences come from 20% of causes. Since then, the Pareto Principle has been used in a vast number of fields such as business and investment. Incels have since corrupted the Pareto Principle in order to legitimise the notion that women are only interested in a very small number of ‘high-value’ men. They have used the 80/20 rule to convince vulnerable people like Jamie that romantic interest from women is reserved only for physically outstanding men in society, because according to them, women only care about appearance. This fuels resentment towards women which can bubble over into violence. 

The corruption of legitimate theories such as the Pareto Principle reminds me of how insidious ideologies like social darwinism came about. Social darwinism used Darwin’s theory of evolution as a supposedly ‘scientific’ basis for social inequality and racism. Herbert Spencer applied ‘survival of the fittest’ to human societies, making it seem natural that some human groups were regarded as superior. It peaked during the rise of the British empire, promoting the belief that colonisation was a fair and natural process, despite it being quite the opposite. While social darwinism operated on a much wider and more harmful scale, I make the comparison in order to show how dangerous incel philosophies have become. This isn’t just a small group of extremists anymore, these are calculated lines of thought that weaponise theory and science to disguise hatred as something more legitimate. It all sounds rather familiar, doesn’t it? When one begins to understand the gruesome sophistication of incel philosophy, can we really expect young children to be immune to it? Especially if it is what their algorithm is feeding them? 

This brings me onto my next point, the algorithm itself. In simple terms, an algorithm is built to show you what it thinks you want to see -  anything you engage with or might engage with, will be picked up by the algorithm as something to show you more of. It might seem obvious to say, but it’s so important we remember this unique characteristic of the radicalisation we see happening to Jamie in Adolescence. What is even more important to understand is that the algorithm isn’t always right. When speaking to my friend about the show, he made a comment which stuck with me. I still see Andrew Tate on my Instagram feed sometimes, but I just scroll past it. What my mum doesn’t understand is that I still see the things I disagree with or that don’t align with my views. When we are using social media, we aren’t protected from the stuff we do not want to see, and in Jamie’s case, should not see at all. In fact, some algorithms actively promote content that is controversial because we are more likely to engage with it. 

Because of these algorithms, incel ideology is spreading like wildfire. It isn’t just isolated to dingey corners of the dark web. People like you and me have probably been exposed to some form of these radical beliefs when scrolling; but we are old enough to see it for what it is. How can we expect children to do so? The simple answer is that we can’t, and that we must do what we can to protect younger generations from entering this very dangerous pipeline. Doing so may seem like a daunting task - parents, governments, and policy-makers are dealing with these kinds of issues for the first time. But, as someone who has had the internet in my life for as long as I can remember, I do believe there is hope. We can all make a difference in ensuring that stories like Adolescence stay as works of fiction.  

Firstly, I urge parents to really engage in the types of things their children are consuming online. I think a big part of the problem is that parents may feel like there is a huge veil of mystery over what their children are viewing online. I’m not saying parents need to understand the ins and outs of niche internet culture, but I do think that really knowing who their children are following, what their algorithm is showing them, and why certain content is appealing to them, is step one in protecting children from incel ideology. The internet cannot just be a young person’s problem anymore. We have a shared responsibility in understanding something that is now so present in the daily lives of children. In regards to the radicalisation of boys, I myself do not have the answers. But what I will say is that I really believe that right now young boys are being left behind. The Centre for Social Justice recently published a 60 page report outlining some of the reasons why they believe young men are in crisis, it is titled Lost Boys. If you are interested in learning more I would highly recommend reading; they are planning to publish further reports with a specific focus on policy building to help curb this crisis. 

What I can say is that boys need to be given the space to reconcile with what it means to be a man, in a way that isn’t about being forced into one box or another. We all know that the teen years are turbulent regardless of gender; we are trying to understand who we are. We will make mistakes, we will put our feet wrong. Young boys need to be given the space to be imperfect, to say or do the wrong thing, and to learn from it. Just as well all do. They need supportive environments, and as what most men have said to me in the process of writing this article, good male role models. It gives me hope that actors like Ashley Walters and Steven Graham have been so outspoken, articulate and inspiring within the show’s press tour.

Adolescence has started a deeply important discussion, one that we absolutely need to be having. This is a problem we cannot ignore, but it is solvable with due time and attention. I applaud the creators of Adolescence for treating such a nuanced issue with the sensitivity it deserves, and for encouraging all of us to think about how we can help break the cycle.